can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize