Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
