we're blogging at a bar
Non-Jews are for practice
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
