Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
