Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
