used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I need moral support for this bender
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
