Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
