super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
