I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You left your underwear on the fireplace
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
