I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
