there was a trapeze. enough said
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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