You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
