Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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