My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
