Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
my liver is dry heaving
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
