the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize