1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The Olympian is in my bed
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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