I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize