Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
