its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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