A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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