Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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