Don't you send me to vm
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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