Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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