awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
