He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i love accidental penises.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.