so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
I want to ride his face like a jet ski