Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize