it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
