YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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