I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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