Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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