Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
