Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
