Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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