taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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