Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
"it" just moved
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
