32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
