everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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