Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
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I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
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I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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