I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
