its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
