Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

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(407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star... http://tfl.nu/jbo8

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa

(281): View more from Texas

what did you steal

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.

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(832): We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa (281): what did you steal (832): frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list. http://tfl.nu/gckp

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(+90): View more from Turkey

Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university

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(+90): Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university http://tfl.nu/62fc

Replies (34) Good night (2878) Bad night (551)
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(512): View more from Texas

So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married

(214): View more from Texas

What? They have three kids?

(512): View more from Texas

Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me

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(512): So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married (214): What? They have three kids? (512): Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me http://tfl.nu/93bk

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(636): View more from Missouri

she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"

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(636): she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you" http://tfl.nu/5amp

Replies (41) Good night (831) Bad night (8579)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Why is there a cactus in the microwave?

(1-217): View more from Illinois

Don't worry about it.

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(217): Why is there a cactus in the microwave? (1-217): Don't worry about it. http://tfl.nu/f5vn

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(647): View more from Ontario

ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring

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(647): ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring http://tfl.nu/c0bs

Replies (19) Good night (1160) Bad night (4931)
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(602): View more from Arizona

so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.

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(602): so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes. http://tfl.nu/egav

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(704): View more from North Carolina

And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.

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(704): And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun. http://tfl.nu/h28t

Replies (5) Good night (950) Bad night (3806)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS

(443): View more from Maryland

I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.

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(609): YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS (443): I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO. http://tfl.nu/tc5m

Replies (16) Good night (3201) Bad night (568)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?

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(563): I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join? http://tfl.nu/9f19

Replies (5) Good night (556) Bad night (1186)
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(352): View more from Florida

This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.

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(352): This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza. http://tfl.nu/8owv

Replies (2) Good night (973) Bad night (470)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".

(908): View more from New Jersey

That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.

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(973): You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch". (908): That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch. http://tfl.nu/oi97

Replies (2) Good night (678) Bad night (297)
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(850): View more from Florida

I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?

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(850): I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...? http://tfl.nu/1yog

Replies (2) Good night (588) Bad night (251)
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(804): View more from Virginia

We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.

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(804): We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon. http://tfl.nu/tgyh

Replies (2) Good night (882) Bad night (242)

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