Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
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On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
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I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.