Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.

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(647): View more from Ontario

The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best

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(971): View more from Oregon

No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(434): View more from Virginia

we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.

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(563): View more from Iowa

I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.

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(416): View more from Toronto

i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.

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(705): View more from Ontario

It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.

(705): View more from Ontario

Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!

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(904): View more from Florida

He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.

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