thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
