I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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