My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.