Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!

  (1-650): View more from California

  noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish! (1-650): noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish! http://tfl.nu/qi3r
  Replies (86) Good night (3694) Bad night (1467)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek. http://tfl.nu/rrn9
  Replies (117) Good night (3161) Bad night (11932)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her! http://tfl.nu/mu36
  Replies (12) Good night (501) Bad night (3190)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever http://tfl.nu/k011
  Replies (34) Good night (7632) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign? http://tfl.nu/j7ur
  Replies (21) Good night (1117) Bad night (7251)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just said the magic words

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE. (610): You just said the magic words http://tfl.nu/8k47
  Replies (24) Good night (5816) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face http://tfl.nu/9y4h
  Replies (55) Good night (21706) Bad night (1454)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic http://tfl.nu/ciqa
  Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (2044)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog. http://tfl.nu/x3j9
  Replies (8) Good night (3438) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday http://tfl.nu/mihk
  Replies (3) Good night (2071) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/l6g2
  Replies (9) Good night (1300) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made. http://tfl.nu/1nr5
  Replies (7) Good night (1851) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto. http://tfl.nu/ns0m
  Replies (1) Good night (299) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  She went to her drug test stoned.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): She went to her drug test stoned. (636): And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it. http://tfl.nu/x7e0
  Replies (5) Good night (739) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room http://tfl.nu/jyfe
  Replies (2) Good night (312) Bad night (484)

Randomize