hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
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I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
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I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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