Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
