So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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