i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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