Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Are we still banned from the library?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
