you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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