Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
