You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
