How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
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