I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
