Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
