Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
