Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
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once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
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It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize