You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
