My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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