so that wasnt chicken after all
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
